Caregiver burnout is not a reflection on how much you care for the person with Alzheimer's disease or dementia; it reflects that you are normal and human. Caring for your health is crucial too.
Being a caregiver is full of complicated emotions that ebb and flow with time and also with the progression of the disease of your loved one. Often caregiving is a full time job or can easily become one over time. But, what happens to all of the other full time jobs you might have at the same time? Those responsibilities don't go away but rather stress compounds for the caregiver.
Caregiver burnout is real and important to recognize. Every caregiver needs pathways to unplug and outlets for self-care and recharging and, physical time away. Preserving your mental well-being and physical health protects not only you but also the person for whom you are caring.
I cannot offer direct solutions for these issues, because each situation is unique. But, I am writing about this topic to encourage self-awareness and to urge anyone experiencing burnout to put aside ambivalent feelings and seek support.
You are not alone in your emotions as a caregiver. Stepping up as a caregiver may happen, many times without having a choice. There is frequently be little time to plan or think about yourself because you are on autopilot.
You need to reflect on your personal need for release and understand the importance and validity of feeling frustration, sadness, guilt, fear, helplessness or loneliness. The role of caregiver does not make you superhuman or suddenly perfect. In fact, coping, sharing and giving yourself regular time to detach from the pressures of being a caregiver will only give you strength to move forward.
Here is an applicable article from the Family Caregiver Alliance that examines many of the emotions you might be experiencing and validates them. Also, this is a link to caregiver support by state. And of course, a great resource is always the Alzheimer's Association.
Finding reinforcements outside of your immediate circle of family and friends is critical. Tensions amongst family members is common and, the dynamics of dealing with varied opinions, and in a unified manner, might be yet another source of stress on top of handling the day to day issues of progressive dementia. Everyone wants to believe that families come together in times of struggle, some do, but some don't immediately.
In some instances, there can be verbal support of you and your caregiver status from your family nucleus but physical distances can make daily or even regular in-person support challenging or unrealistic. So reach out for help, real help. Here is another thoughtful article from the Family Caregiver Alliance about sibling roles and responsibilities.
Just remember, you do not need to cope alone nor should you. It might be that the circle of those who can and will help you in your time of need are not the people you might have expected to be your greatest support systems.
If you happen to be the close friend of a caregiver, don't underestimate the power and relevance of your support and reassurance. Ask how you can help. Offering a few hours away to the caregiver, either by sitting with the person who needs care or inviting the caregiver to lunch or dinner are a few simple examples.
Dealing with the incredible and daunting challenges of Alzheimer's disease or the cognitive decline of other dementia-related illnesses stirs an onslaught of emotions, decisions and choices. Ultimately these realities might create parallel crises for you as the caregiver(s). Caregiver burnout is real. Don't be afraid to recognize your emotions. Also, realize that recognizing your own needs does not diminish the love you have for the person with the disease.
From my heart, I send each of you my sincere wish that you might find peace, help, outlets and strength.
If you are interested in reading more of my blogs:
Check out the recent blog: The Mind and Menopause ~ Dr. Domenico Pratico', MD, FCPP
Domenico Praticò, MD, holds the position of the Scott Richards North Star Charitable Foundation Chair for Alzheimer’s Research and serves as a Professor and the Founding Director of the Alzheimer’s Center at Temple, as well as a Professor of Neural Sciences at Lewis Katz School of Medicine at Temple University.
For more information on the research conducted by Dr. Domenico Pratico, please visit this link.
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