Having anxiety or concerns about visiting a friend with dementia is common but visiting can be a source of great comfort for the individual with dementia, no matter the stage.
Perhaps you have recently learned that a friend has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease and you don't know how to reach out to them. Perhaps you have not seen that person for a while but you care about them. Perhaps you are wondering if visiting is intrusive. Perhaps you are concerned they won't recognize you if they are in later stages of the disease. Perhaps you live far away and an in -person visit is not possible.
Having anxiety or concerns about visiting a friend with dementia or Alzheimer's disease is common. There are various approaches to a visit and ways to make it special and meaningful. Don't be afraid to ask questions.
A good approach is to first to reach out to a close relative or caregiver who sees the person regularly. You can ask them about the best way to visit, and if you are distant ask if a zoom visit is an option.
Be sure that the person is open to visits. If the answer is "no", then ask about other ways to offer support or show you care. At times, individuals may be uncomfortable with visit or feel overwhelmed. If this is the case don't take it personally.
If the caregiver welcomes your visit (even if your visit is virtual) you might follow up with some additional questions:
Ask if a certain time of day is preferable for your friend. Some individuals might follow schedules and fitting your visit into their timeline can be important. Some with dementia might experience confusion later in the day so better to go earlier.
If this is your first visit to the person after a period of time ask if you could visit when the caregiver is present or join them if your friend is in a care facility. Also, they can guide you about a good length of time for a visit.
Ask if there are items you can share during your visit that your friend might enjoy like photos, music or mementos.
Ask the caregiver about natural transitions in the individual's day like, bathing a meal or other planned activity. Try to plan your visit with this in mind. Regularly scheduled activities provide a natural segue to your departure and can make your "goodbye" easier.
Once you have planned your visit, enjoy your time with the person and take cues when you are there, remembering that being supportive and loving is valuable.
Be open and in tune to their communication with you. Don't set expectations of how the visit should go. Be patient, respectful and empathetic. Take pleasure in the time you share with them even if some of your shared time is quiet time.
Remember that the person you cherish is still the same person. They might need you more now than ever before. Focus on what is best for them and how you can offer that support and show your love. For more information, read this quick article by the Kansas City Alzheimer's Association.
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Domenico Praticò, MD, holds the position of the Scott Richards North Star Charitable Foundation Chair for Alzheimer’s Research and serves as a Professor and the Founding Director of the Alzheimer’s Center at Temple, as well as a Professor of Neural Sciences at Lewis Katz School of Medicine at Temple University.
For more information on the research conducted by Dr. Domenico Pratico, please visit this link.
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Stay updated with the work happening at Dr. Domenico Pratico's lab by visiting the Pratico Lab website.
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